Monday, October 13, 2008

feelin' bluevy

These first two weeks of October have passed by in economic crisis and bullshit politics. But they have also passed by in perfection. The Aspens and Cottonwoods have turned yellow and pink. My friends just got married in a uniquely symbolic ceremony at Mt. Princeton Hot Springs. The weather is such that you get to put on funky tights in the morning, then take them off and put on a tank top at noon. I chanted in a giant human yogic spiral and made a rock spiral sculpture with the Spiral Scouts. Halloween costumes are in the planning! We have all settled into our school routines. I have been volunteering in the boys' classrooms once a week, and am remembering what I loved so much about teaching children.

For the past few weeks, I have been living in a blissful denial. A sort of post-surgical-pre-chemical limbo. Now, on Columbus Day, I am about to set out and explore a new world.

In about an hour, I will have a needle placed into the port on my left side, and Adriamycin and Cytoxan will begin dripping into my body. Healing poisons. In about three days, I may (or may not) feel like shit. In about seven days (because of risk of infection), I will not be able to go contradancing (see next post below!) In about three weeks (just in time for Halloween!) I will lose my hair.

It is both a terrifying and a liberating feeling, this idea of losing one's hair. Here's how I chose to deal with it.

First, the cut:











Then the color:

















Finally:




My friend's daughter, aged 12, asked me yesterday, "So why did you dye your hair blue?"

"Well, I'm going to be losing it in a few weeks, so...."

(Interrupting) "You just figured what the heck right?!"

You got it, girl!

20 comments:

Cindy Fey said...

Gorgeous!! You're beautiful and amazing.

Kirsten said...

I love it! When your hair grows back maybe you could celebrate by dyeing it another colour. Purple? Green?

jana said...

We'll be thinking about the zombie killing heroes (Chemicals) marching through your lymph today! Do you think they have shotguns with silver bullets? dynamite? machetes?

Marie said...

"You just figured what the heck, right!?"

Very empowering words! I'm going to write that on an index card and keep it handy.

Dying your hair blue. What a perfect way to add positive playful energy to the experience of losing your hair. Truly, I admire your strong adventurous spirit.

Swiss Miss said...

That should become a permanent look in the future. You look totally hot.

Jenny said...

Your hair looks great. You'll look fantastic without hair too! I hope it goes well for you today and we're all thinking about you.

Bettina said...

Your hair looks gorgeous and your strength is really inspiring. Sending you positive thoughts this morning. xo.

Friar Tuck said...

I will be praying for you as you go through your treatment.

Marina Eckler said...

Completely great Sue!
LOVE, COURAGE, SOLIDARITY
xo marina, noel, ursen

Jim Thomsen said...

You are one sexy-ass bitch, my friend. Way to fight blues with blue. Dye, cancer! Dye!

Anonymous said...

Sue, you rock! What a great way to celebrate the start of chemo. The cut is cool and the color is courageous. I think this could become a permanent look!

Keep us posted on the post-chemo reactions. Hugs, Beth

Jamie said...

Thinking of you Sue.
Your hair will probably grow back faster then Avery's.

xo jamie, sean, avery

daisy said...

Sue, that 'do' is so hot! You look like a goddess. Sending you strength and love. xoxo, daisy, patrick, ruby and jess

Amanda said...

Damn, you're beautiful! -and it has nothing to do with hair.

Dad said...

Sue - I'm so proud of you and I love you so much.
Dad

citizen of the world said...

I love it - you look fantastic! My thoughts will be with you.

(And I also love the change in post titles - this one has a much more peaceful and optimistic feel to it.)

Anonymous said...

Sue:
I really, really admire your strong spirit, your cheerful way to deal with the cancer...it's just admirable. The blue dye is just an amazing idea and I love the way it looks on you...
You go girl!!!
I'll be praying this whole week for you and your family.
TU PUEDES! (You can do it!)
Much love...
Eunice

kristen said...

I must say i feel so lucky to have been able to do this for you.You are such an amazing woman and I admire you so much. You look so beautiful!!! I am praying for you all the time :)

Lee said...

Be ready to 'shed the blues' and welcome a 'beautiful shining full moon.' You go.. girl.

John said...

I was thinking it'd be WAY more blue and WAY shorter, but okay. Very nice.