in uncharted waters

in uncharted waters,

when the horizon
pulses too orange
the sky horribly vast 

and gravity 

both pushes and pulls
when drowning 

becomes a choice better than swimming 

and
even treading water is too strenuous --

i seek anchorage

a comfortable circumference 

security in hemp
plenty of fish 

and 

a small craft in which to catch my breath 

cry a few salty tears of relief

when the anchor
becomes a dutiful cross 

too heavy to bear 

and i (noose-clad, choking in my own martyred creation)

am struggling in circles --

i long for the horizon

pounding heart in search of waves
paddling frantically 

waiting for the crack to open between sky and sea 

fierce and romantic
like an 8-year-old girl
with a brand new bike
and 

everywhere to go

[2007]