we're all walking ironies now, like --
I'm wandering around inside our third house,
wearing a t-shirt that says:
"I left my house and went to a show"
and how my body feels more grounded
after a day in the pool; skin alive
with chlorine and slight sunburn –
the kind that will turn to tan instead of cancer
why yes, we are all wondering if we're clever
we’re certainly uncertain but determined,
never knowing where we’re walking to 'til we're there
September Eleventh ellipsed around again
orbiting our psyche like we orbit the sun
and suddenly I can see the exact shade of brown
the carpet was, feel myself sitting crosslegged on the floor
only a few feet from the tv
thirty-four, and still in our first house--
the one off Fillmore
no friends to call; no one at all
it's hard to remember how rootless I was then --
how tender; how almost alone
nursing a nine-month old, a 2-year old
snugged side right (a little too tight, a little too close)
absorbing too-many tears into their tiny hearts
their two tiny hearts now holding
the heartbreak beat of the twin towers
this doesn't feel like love
out…
we have to go out now, get out now –
to the park, yes!
(the big park, not the neighborhood one)
other moms! more babies!
Swings!
and their little swinging feet,
reaching upward toward the blue blue sky so quiet --
so goddamn fucking quiet
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